


Toast To The Future (But That’d Be A Lie)

by CoffeeAddict80



Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-20
Updated: 2019-02-20
Packaged: 2019-11-01 09:34:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17864879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeAddict80/pseuds/CoffeeAddict80
Summary: Story is inspired by the song “Champagne High” by Sister Hazel (title also comes from this song as well)Kurt & Blaine never got back together after the first breakup, and Kurt stayed with Adam. Two-and-a-half years later, Kurt and Adam get engaged. Santana believes that Kurt is marrying Adam for all the wrong reasons and that he’s still in love with Blaine. So, she schemes to get Kurt and Blaine back together by inviting Blaine to Kurt’s engagement party.**Note:Even though the Kurt/Adam relationship is tagged, this is aKLAINEstory. (There is no infidelity or hate toward Adam)





	Toast To The Future (But That’d Be A Lie)

**Author's Note:**

> the idea for this story came to me back in August. I heard the song“[Champagne High](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHCl85PDiPw%22)” by Sister Hazel for the first time in almost 10 years and got a very vivid vision of how I wanted this entire story to play out then quickly wrote out and saved a detailed summary. at the time I was writing a multi-chap fic and didn't want to get distracted, but now that the last chap of that story just got posted, I decided to finally write this. I know it's different than what I usually write, but I hope you'll still like it anyway.

Blaine stared at the invitation in his hands as he tried to remember how to breathe. _“Kurt and Adam are engaged? Guess it really is over,”_ he thought. He closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, then let out a shaky breath. _“I can do this. He wouldn’t have invited me if he didn’t want me there. Least I can do is go to this party and show my support for him. I can always leave early if it becomes too much.”_ Picking up his phone, he dialed the number on the bottom on the invitation.

“Yes?” the woman’s voice greeted him upon answering his call.

“Santana; it’s Blaine,” he began, slowly.

“I know. I have caller ID,” she replied, cutting him off. “What’s up?”

“I got Kurt’s invitation in the mail today,” he told her.

“And…? Are you coming to the party tomorrow or what?” Santana asked, not waiting for him to finish.

“I’ll be there,” he answered.

“Good.”

\---

Back in highschool, Blaine Anderson and Kurt Hummel were deeply in love. Unfortunately, Kurt graduated a year before Blaine, and he left Ohio to go to college in New York. The separation proved to be too difficult for the teenagers to navigate; mistakes were made, and the couple broke-up.

After a brief couple of weeks with no direct contact, the two boys attempted to mend fences, to try and rebuild the friendship they once had; but too many lingering feelings – of pain, betrayal, guilt, heartache, shame, and _love_ – kept them from ever reclaiming the easy-going, relaxed friendship they once shared.

A few months after their break-up, Kurt began dating Adam Crawford. Adam was kind and compassionate; and he cared deeply for Kurt. He helped to mend Kurt’s broken heart, helped him pick up the pieces and move on with his life.

After graduation, Blaine moved to New York to pursue a career in theater. He had toyed with the idea of attending the same drama school where Kurt was enrolled, but – even though Blaine was accepted – he felt that it might be too difficult for either of them to handle; he didn’t want to put that kind of pressure on Kurt. Instead, Blaine attended NYU, in order to give both of them space to concentrate on their studies.

Shortly after moving to New York, Blaine began seeing a therapist, so that he could learn to forgive himself for his role in his break-up with Kurt. After a few months of therapy, he slowly began to move on with his life. He had gone on several dates and even had a couple of short-lived boyfriends; but none of those relationships lasted for very long because a small piece of his heart would always belong to Kurt.

Although Kurt and Blaine had remained friendly over the past two-and-a-half years, it was a tentative friendship that was mostly kept alive through mutual friends. It was a rare occurrence that they would contact each other directly or hang out together without at least three other friends present the entire time. Bumping into each other while out and about on errand runs resulted in awkwardness and stilted conversation. But despite all this, Blaine had held on to hope that one day he and Kurt would be able to work things out; that they could put past mistakes behind them and have a future – _together_.

Looking down at the invitation sitting on his coffee table, Blaine could feel that last shred of hope beginning to deteriorate.

\---

The following evening, Blaine was a bundle of nerves. He ran a hand over his cardigan, trying to smooth out invisible wrinkles, as he walked down the hall to where the party was being held. Taking a deep breath, Blaine knocked on the door to Kurt’s loft. The door slid open to reveal Kurt’s roommate, Rachel, mid-laugh at something that had been said. When she saw him standing there, her laughter immediately died, and she hurried to shield his view of the interior of the apartment. “Blaine! Hey, what…what are you doing here?” she asked him, voice hushed, before trying to cast surreptitious looks behind her.

Blaine glanced at the neatly wrapped engagement gift in his hand then back up at Rachel. “Kurt sent me an invitation to his engagement party. Don’t tell me I got the dates mixed up?”

“Oh!” Rachel replied, surprised. “No, no, you have the right day. Um, come on in. Sorry, I was just a little surprised to see you. I didn’t see your name on the RSVP list.”

“I suppose that’s what you get when you put _Santana_ in charge of RSVPs,” he told her. “But at the same time, I don’t know why you’d be surprised. You know me…I can never seem to say no to Kurt.” Motioning to the gift in his hand while looking around the room, he asked, “Uh…Where should I put this?”

“Oh, you can put that over on the table under the window,” she said, pointing in the general direction of its location. “If you’ll excuse me, I just need to go check on…something.”

Blaine smiled and nodded at her, then headed in the direction of the gift table.

~*~*~

“Santana!” Rachel whisper shouted, as she stomped over to her. “You invited Blaine? To Kurt’s _engagement_ party? Why would you do that? He was left off of the guest list for a _reason_!”

Santana put on an innocent smile as she turned to Rachel. “Well, I just assumed that the Pretty Pony being left off the guest list was an _oversight_ on Hummel’s part. I didn’t realize it was _intentional_. I mean, Lady Lips said he wanted to celebrate this special occasion with _all_ the people he cares about; right? And considering that he’s still in love with the midget, it made sense that Anderson should be here.”

“That’s exactly the reason he _shouldn’t_ be here!” Rachel argued.

“Oh come on!” Santana replied, exasperated. “You and I both know that Hummel doesn’t love Downton Abbey. The only reason he agreed to marry that Brit is because he’s afraid of being alone for the rest of his life. You can’t deny that…” she paused, squinting at Rachel in confusion. “Wait a minute… You… You didn’t try to dispute that Kurt still has feelings for Blaine. You think Hummel is still in love with him, don’t you?”

“Of course he is! Anyone with eyes can see that,” she huffed. “That doesn’t mean we should meddle in Kurt’s _life_.”

“Since when do you respect what people _say_ they want?” Santana asked. “You love meddling in people’s lives! And I honestly can’t believe you would be okay with watching your best friend marry someone he doesn’t even love, when the person he does love, loves him back just as much. For some strange reason that I’ve yet to figure out, Hummel is determined to ignore all his feelings for Blaine and pretend like everything is okay even though he knows it’s not; while Anderson is too damn scared to make a move and tell Kurt how he feels because he’s petrified of being rejected by him again. Those two idiots just need to pull their heads out of their asses and realize they belong together. And I think Blaine being here is the push that Lady Lips needs to get that ship moving in the right direction.”

“What do you need me to do?” Rachel asked, resigned.

“Nothing that you weren’t already planning on doing,” Santana told her. “The way I figure, the more that Hummel has to listen to people talk about his _‘oh so happy’_ future with Downton Abbey, and how _‘oh so in love’_ they are, the more guilty he’ll feel for agreeing to get hitched to someone he doesn’t love. And if Anderson is here, lurking around where Hummel can see him, while he’s being showered with all these well wishes, then maybe he’ll realize _why_ he feels guilty, and he’ll do something about it.”

“If this backfires…” Rachel warned, pointing aggressively at Santana, “I will throw you under the bus and make sure you take _all_ the blame.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” she replied, grinning smugly, then walking away.

~*~*~

Before going over to the gift table Rachel had directed him to, Blaine quickly looked around the loft to make sure no one was watching him, then ducked behind the curtain that served as a separation between Kurt’s bedroom and the common areas of the apartment. He placed a small Tupperware container on Kurt’s bedside table then exited the room as quickly as he’d entered it. After placing his gift on the table with the others, he looked around at the large crowd of people that were scattered around the loft – most of whom he didn’t even know – trying to find something to do, when a gentle hand patted him on his shoulder.

“Anderson. Wasn’t expecting to see you here today.”

Blaine turned toward the man and a bright smile took over his face. “Burt!” he replied, relieved, hugging him tightly. Looking around as he pulled back from the hug he asked, “Where’s Carole?”

“She wasn’t able to get off work, so I came alone. It’s good to see you, bud,” Burt told him. “How’ve you been?”

“Considering the reason for this party…I’ve been better,” Blaine answered.

“I’m surprised you even decided to come,” Burt said.

Blaine sighed before answering, “Me too. But I figured there had to be a reason Kurt invited me. He wouldn’t have sent the invitation if he didn’t want me here. And you know I have problems denying him of the things that he wants; no matter what it costs me. Speaking of…Where is the happy couple? I’d like to offer them my congratulations before I lose my nerve.”

“Here,” Santana said, approaching him with a glass of champagne, “this should help calm your nerves a little bit.”

“Thanks,” Blaine said, taking the glass from her, and drinking all of it in one gulp. He handed the empty glass back to her and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “So…where did you say Kurt was?”

“He’s over there,” Santana pointed, “in the middle of that group of people by the couch.”

Nodding his thanks at her, he walked across the room to where Kurt and Adam were surrounded by friends, plastering what he hoped looked like a genuine smile onto his face. Kurt’s eyes widened in shock as Blaine approached them.

“B-Blaine,” Kurt said, stunned. “W-Wha…”

Blaine’s smile turned soft as he looked at Kurt. “Hey there,” he said, offering Kurt a hug. When he pulled back from the slightly awkward greeting, he looked at Kurt again just as Adam slipped an arm around Kurt’s waist. Blaine took a step back to create some space, eyes bouncing back and forth between the two men in front of him. He shook his head slightly to clear away the anxiety that began coursing through his body. “Congratulations,” he told them, hoping he sounded sincere. Glancing back at Kurt, he added, “I have to say, I was a little surprised to get your invitation in the mail; but I’m happy for you. So…when is the big day? Do you know yet?”

“Nothing’s official yet,” Adam began, when Kurt remained silent, “but we were looking at late-June.”

“ _This_ June? As in four months from now?” Blaine asked, surprised.

“Why wait?” Adam replied, nodding.

Turning back to Kurt with a confused look, Blaine hesitated before cautiously asking, “You…you want a…a _Summer_ wedding? I thought you had said they were tacky and cliché? That you wanted to get married in the Fall?”

Kurt avoided eye contact and shrugged. “People are allowed to change their minds.”

Blaine blinked in surprise at Kurt’s response then slowly began to nod in agreement when he noticed Kurt’s engagement ring. “And their tastes in jewelry too,” he added, quietly.

Adam held up Kurt’s left hand to show off the narrow 24k yellow gold band with inlaid diamonds around the entire circumference. “Isn’t it gorgeous?”

“It is,” Blaine agreed. “It’s just not something I pictured Kurt wearing. But he’s your fiancé, so I’m sure you are a lot more familiar with his tastes in accessories than I am. If you’ll excuse me; I’m just going to grab a drink, say hi to a few other guests. Congrats again.”

\---

Thirty minutes later, Blaine was leaning against the kitchen counter, sipping on what he thought might be his fourth glass of champagne. He stared across the loft, watching Kurt and Adam talking with guests, telling the story of their engagement while showing off the ring and smiling adoringly at each other.

“You may want to slow down on those,” Santana said, coming up beside him and pouring herself a drink.

“Too late,” he giggled, shaking his head. “Already drunk.” He straightened up his posture, then polished off the remainder of his drink. “I should…I should go home.”

“You can’t leave yet,” she told him.

“Why not?” he scoffed. “So he can rub his perfect… _happy_ …relationship in my face even more?” he asked, petulantly, speaking slowly to concentrate on proper pronunciation before slurring out, “No sank you.” Blaine placed his empty glass on the counter then patted his pants pockets and looked around the room confused. “Was I wearing a jacket when I…when I…wha’s the word? Ar-arr…got here?”

“Yes!” she replied, nodding her head adamantly. “Yes, you were. So you need to stay here until we can find that for you.”

“No, no, no.” He waved her off, tiredly. “Just bring it to my place to-to-morrow…or whenevez. ‘M goin’ home,” he slurred.

Santana grabbed his arm and held him in place. “Wait. Please? You can’t leave just yet.”

He narrowed his eyes at her, suspiciously. “You said ‘ _please_ ’. Why? Wha’s goin’ on? Why’s it so ‘portant I stay?”

“I just think that it would be rude for you to leave before the cake is served,” she said, shrugging. She then hurried to add, “And because you’re drunk. Have some water and dilute the alcohol in your system. When you can walk a straight line and speak without stumbling over your words, then it will be a little safer for you to walk the streets of Brooklyn alone. I would feel responsible if I let you walk out that door and something bad happened to you. You don’t want to put that kind of guilt on me, do you?”

Blaine pouted and his eyes glossed over with unshed tears. He began shaking his head as he answered, “No. I’m sorry, Tana, I d-doh-don’t wan you to feel guilty.” He sniffled then hiccupped. “I don’t want anyone to feel guilty over me.”

“So you’ll stay?” she checked.

“Okay,” he answered, nodding. Reaching for the champagne bottle while sliding his empty glass closer to him, he added, “But I’ma need more cham-champy…bubbly.”

~*~*~

Kurt walked over to his father while Adam remained talking to a few friends on the other side of the room. “Hey, dad. Thanks for coming out here on such short notice. I’m really happy you’re here.”

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world,” Burt replied. “My son is engaged to be married. And I know how happy weddings and engagements make you. But for some reason, you don’t look all that happy right now. What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” Kurt told him, shrugging. “Just…not a fan of big parties, I guess.”

“Then why you having one?” Burt asked.

“Adam wanted to celebrate with all of our friends and family,” he said. “Although, Adam’s family couldn’t make it since they live in England…”

“But other than the party, you’re happy?” Burt checked.

“Of course! Why do you ask?” Kurt wondered.

“Because I’ve been watching you all night, Kurt,” Burt started. “You know how many times I’ve seen you _frown_ at that ring on your finger? Or how many times I’ve seen you _grimace_ while Adam told the story of how he proposed? I just want to make sure that _this_ is what you want. I want to make sure you’re not rushing into a marriage that you’re not _ready_ for.”

“Adam loves me,” Kurt said. “He is a _good_ man.”

“I never said he wasn’t,” he told him. “But just because he’s a good man, doesn’t mean you need to _marry_ him.” Kurt remained silent, so Burt switched topics. “You talk to Blaine yet?”

Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes. “I did. He came over to say congratulations; then he insulted the ring Adam bought for me and criticized us for considering a Summer wedding. I don’t even know why he’s here.”

“You sure we’re talking about the same kid here? Blaine’s always been too polite for his own good. He’d never intentionally offend someone; especially _you_ ,” Burt told him. “And he’s here because _you_ sent him an invitation asking him to come.”

“Except I _didn’t_ invite him,” Kurt replied. “Adam and I called, texted, and spoke to people in person about this party; Blaine said he got an invitation in the _mail_. I got engaged _two_ days ago. Why would I send physical invitations that might not get to people in time?”

“You sure he didn’t mean e-mail?” Burt checked.

“Even if he did, it didn’t come from _my_ account; _I_ didn’t send it,” Kurt told him.

“Can I ask why you _wouldn’t_ want him here?” Burt wondered. “You two get along, right? You’re friendly with each other. Still talk to each other and get together to hang out with your other friends. Doesn’t make sense for you to want to exclude him.”

Kurt looked uncomfortable as he shrugged. “It’s considered poor taste to invite your _ex_ to your _engagement_ party, isn’t it?”

“It’d only be considered poor taste if you weren’t on good terms with one another. _Or_ …if you still have feelings for one another,” Burt said, giving Kurt a pointed look. Kurt avoided eye contact and shook his head, so Burt continued, “Well then, there’s no reason he shouldn’t be here to help you celebrate, is there?”

“It still feels weird,” Kurt mumbled.

Burt evaluated Kurt’s demeanor for a moment. “Let me ask you something…” he began, hesitantly. “Do you want to marry Adam?”

“I told you: Adam is a good man. And he loves me,” Kurt replied. “Why wouldn’t I want to marry him?”

“You keep telling me how much _he_ loves _you_ ,” Burt began; “but do _you_ love _him_?”

“Yes, of course I do,” Kurt replied.

“Are you _in_ love with him,” he clarified.

Kurt sighed at his father’s questioning. “He asked me to marry him; and I said _yes_. What do you think?”

“I think you’re avoiding the question,” Burt said. “Are you in love with Adam?”

“This is a party, not an interrogation. I don’t need this from you right now. So, if you’ll excuse me, I have other guests I need to speak to,” Kurt said, then walked away from his father.

~*~*~

“Attention, everybody!” Rachel called out, clinking a fork against her champagne glass. “Can I have everybody’s attention, please? Before we have the happy couple cut the cake, I’d like to make a toast.” Lifting her glass in the air, she continued, “To Kurt and Adam: may all of the joy, happiness, and intensely profound love for one another that you both feel so strongly right now, keep growing as you embark on this journey into the future together.” Noticing Blaine lower his glass and turn his back on the room, Rachel made eye contact with Santana and subtly motioned her head toward him. Santana nodded then began to cross the room to where Blaine was, so Rachel concluded her toast, “To Kurt and Adam!”

Everyone in the room lifted their glasses along with her and repeated the sentiment, “To Kurt and Adam!” before taking a sip of their drink, as Adam and Kurt shared a short, sweet kiss.

~*~*~

Before turning to cut the cake, Kurt’s eyes scanned the crowd in front of him. He noticed Blaine climbing out the window onto the fire escape with Santana close on his heels. He shook off the uneasy feeling he got and proceeded to cut the cake with Adam.

Once the cake had been cut and Rachel had taken over serving it, Kurt looked back over at the window that Blaine and Santana had just exited, and that uneasy feeling came rushing back ten-fold. He excused himself, claiming to need a refill on his drink, and cautiously made his way over to the fire escape.

~*~*~

Blaine sat on the fire escape, hiding his face in his hands as he tried desperately not to cry. “I thought…I thought I could do this. I thought I could come here and show my support – be happy for him – but it just _hurts_ so much,” Blaine told Santana, as she took a seat next to him. “I want him to be happy, I really do. But I never thought that his happiness could cause me this much pain.”

“He’s not doing this to hurt you; you know that, right?” Santana asked.

“Yeah, I know,” he responded. “Kurt may be the master of holding a grudge, but he’s not cruel. Only thing I haven’t figured out yet, is why he invited me. He’s barely even looked at me all night, and he’s spoken to me even less.”

“I’m afraid that’s my fault,” she answered. “Lady Lips didn’t know you were coming. I sent you the invitation.”

“What?” he asked, looking at her, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“You weren’t on the original guest list,” Santana said. “I made the invite using a generic template online then used cardstock and envelopes I borrowed from Hummel’s monogrammed stationery kit to print everything. I bribed your neighbor to tell you it was delivered to their mailbox by mistake instead of mailing it; to make sure that you got it in time.”

“What? Why…Wait…So, Kurt didn’t even want me here?” Blaine asked. “The _only_ reason I came to this party was because I thought the invite was from _him_.”

“I know. That’s why I made it look like he sent it; so I could be sure that you would come,” she replied. “I thought if he saw you here, he might realize that he was making a huge mistake by agreeing to marry Tall, Blond, and British.”

“You think he’s making a mistake?” he questioned.

“Hummel is scared,” Santana began. “He only said ‘yes’ because he’s convinced himself that he can’t do any better than Doctor Who back there.”

“That’s not true,” Blaine said, shaking his head. “Kurt is so gorgeous; and smart; and insanely talented. He’s funny; and compassionate. He’s a hard worker; determined and motivated. He’s so strong; and so, so beautiful. How could anyone _not_ want him?”

Santana shrugged. “He doesn’t see himself the same way you do. If Rachel or I tried to tell him what you just told me, he’d think we were just saying that to make him feel better. But _you_ on the other hand…”

“You really think he’d listen to _me_?” he asked her, disbelieving. “Kurt hasn’t listened to a word I’ve said since he moved to New York – which is actually part of the reason we broke up in the first place, and why he _still_ hasn’t forgiven me for…what I did. How could _I_ convince him of anything?”

“Because he still loves you,” she answered.

“No, he doesn’t,” Blaine replied, bitterly, while shaking his head. “He’s moved on. Him and Mr. Accent have been together for _two years_ , Santana. Were you even at the same party I was? Because all I saw tonight was Kurt constantly blushing while the two of them smiled adoringly at each other, giving each other lots of heart eyes and gentle touches.

“Kurt has always had very strong feelings about how and when he wants to be married, and he would never compromise on those unless he _truly_ loved someone. He’s always talked about wanting to have a _long_ engagement, so he can plan a proper wedding celebration – make sure he can get all the details _just right_. And he wanted to get married in the Fall – when the weather was slightly cooler, so he could wear layers and a fashionable scarf, and also because the color scheme complimented his skin tone better. But right now he’s talking about getting married in _four months_ ; in June – even though he’s always said Summer weddings were ‘overdone’. And that ring! In what world would Kurt Hummel wear something like that? You know what world those things happen in? I’ll tell you. It’s the world where he’s willing to make compromises because he is deeply in love with his partner and wants _them_ to be happy. _That’s_ the world that happens in.

“So, don’t tell me he loves me,” Blaine told her, angrily wiping at the tears that he could no longer hold back. “Because he _doesn’t_. If he did, my heart would not be as _shattered_ as it is right now. If he loved me, then I wouldn’t be here pretending to be happy that the man I love is marrying someone else.” He stood up and looked at Santana again. “You said I could go home when I stopped slurring my speech. Well, I’ve stopped. Probably because I’ve already thrown up most of the alcohol in my system. But that’s not the point. Point is: I may not be sober yet, but at least I’m not drunk off my ass. So, if you don’t mind, I’ll be leaving now.” He carefully climbed back through the window into the loft then quickly made his way to the exit.

~*~*~

Kurt stood inside the loft, listening to Blaine and Santana’s conversation through the open window. As soon as Blaine mentioned going home, Kurt hurried away from the window, heading straight for his bedroom.

Taking a seat on his bed, Kurt hugged his pillow and tried to prevent the panic attack he could feel coming on. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a small Tupperware container on his bedside table. He picked it up curiously, carefully opening the lid. Inside the container were homemade cookies; and taped to the lid was a small notecard that read: _‘Kurt – I once promised to make you cookies at least twice a year; and have done so every year since. Unfortunately, this is going to have to be the last batch of cookies that you’ll receive from me. My deepest apologies & regrets for breaking (yet another) promise to you. – Blaine_’. After placing the container of cookies back on the nightstand, Kurt began to sob into his pillow.

There was a dip in the mattress next to Kurt, then a gentle hand began rubbing his back. He looked up and saw his father giving him a worried look. “You alright, kiddo?” Burt asked.

Kurt shook his head, temporarily unable to answer. “Do you think agreeing to marry Adam was a mistake?” he asked, softly.

“You’re the only one that can answer that question,” Burt replied. “What’s your gut telling you?”

~*~*~

The next afternoon, Blaine was laying on his couch in his pajamas, wrapped in a blanket, watching a marathon of home renovation shows on TV while eating cold cereal, when his phone rang. He picked it up off the coffee table and was about to hit ‘ignore’ when he noticed that it was Kurt calling him. He hurried to mute the TV and answer the phone while placing his cereal bowl on the table. “Hello? Kurt? What’s going on? Is everything okay?”

There was an inhalation of breath and a short pause on the other end of the line. “What makes you think something’s wrong?” Kurt replied, quietly.

“Because you hardly ever call me,” Blaine answered. “And I thought you would still be celebrating your engagement right about now.”

“Oh…” he said, hesitating before he could continue. “Um, well, I was just wondering…Are you home right now? I need to talk to you. But I’d much rather have this conversation in person.”

“Yeah, I’m…I’m home,” Blaine told him.

“Well, in that case, can you open your door?” Kurt replied. As soon as he finished speaking, there was a soft knock on Blaine’s apartment door.

Blaine pulled the phone away from his ear, then looked back-and-forth between it and his door. He slowly lifted the phone back up to his ear and replied, “Uh, yeah; yeah hang on a second.” Getting up off the couch, he looked around the living room and sighed to himself at the mess he saw. Crossing the room, he took a deep breath then opened the door.

“Hi,” Kurt said, waving at him. He hung up the phone then stood motionless waiting for Blaine to say or do something.

“Hi,” Blaine breathed out after a moment. He swallowed thickly, before he finally shook himself out of the shock of seeing Kurt. “Um, come on in.” He opened the door wider, to allow Kurt to enter, while making sure that the phone call had been disconnected and locking his phone again. “I’m, uh, I’m sorry about the mess and,” gesturing to his appearance, “all this. I wasn’t expecting visitors today. But, um, have a seat. Can I get you something to drink or anything?”

“No, thank you,” Kurt replied, taking a seat in the armchair next to the couch.

Blaine closed the apartment door then reclaimed his spot on the couch. “So, uh, what did you want to talk about?”

“For starters, I thought I should return this to you,” Kurt said, placing the still wrapped engagement gift Blaine had purchased onto the coffee table.

Blaine had been in such a state of shock to see Kurt at his door that he hadn’t even noticed he was carrying anything. As he looked at the unopened box being returned to him, Blaine felt his heart break a little more. “Oh. Um, that’s not really necessary. I mean, I know that you weren’t expecting me to be at the party last night, that Santana tricked me into thinking you sent me an invitation, but you don’t need to return the gift; it’s yours.”

“No, I’m not…I’m not returning it because it’s from you,” Kurt began, shaking his head. “ _Everyone_ is getting their gifts returned.”

“What? Why?” he asked, confused.

“It doesn’t seem right to accept an engagement gift when there is no engagement,” Kurt told him, shrugging.

“No engagement?” he questioned. “What are you talking about?”

“I broke up with Adam last night,” Kurt said.

“You did?!” he asked, in shock. “Why? What happened?”

Kurt sighed as he curled in on himself in the chair. “I realized…I realized that I was with him for all the wrong reasons.” He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths before continuing. “Adam is sweet, and kind; he’s a good person that made me laugh when I had trouble remembering how to smile. I care about him a lot; love him, even. But I was never _in_ love with him.”

“I don’t understand,” Blaine replied.

“After…after _we_ broke up,” he motioned his finger slightly back-and-forth between himself and Blaine, “I wasn’t really sure how to navigate the dating world. You…you were my first boyfriend. Before you came along, no one had ever expressed any romantic interest in me _at all_ ; and even your interest in me took a while to develop.

“Meeting Adam…he had seemed like he might _possibly_ be interested in me, but he hadn’t said or done anything to make that explicitly known to me. Rachel had to talk me into asking him out for coffee. It took a couple days, but I was finally able to suck up my courage and ask him out. To my surprise, he said yes. He gave me his number, told me to call him to arrange a day and time, and that was it.

“After we started dating, I just kept waiting for those feelings – the ones I felt when I was with you – to hit me, you know? I thought they needed time to develop. But they never did.

“I kept looking at Adam – at my relationship with him – and wondering _‘what am I doing wrong? Why can’t I fall in love with him?’_. I thought maybe I was broken. If I couldn’t fall in love with someone as wonderful as him, how could I fall in love with anyone else? So, when he asked me to marry him, I said ‘yes’; because I knew that he was a good man and because I loved him – even if I wasn’t _in_ love with him.

“But last night…” Kurt paused and reached into his satchel that he’d placed on the floor next to his seat. He pulled out the now empty Tupperware container that Blaine had left on his bedside table. Placing the container on top of the giftbox that was on the coffee table, Kurt took a shaky breath and continued, “last night I realized that I couldn’t fall in love with Adam…because I was still in love with you.”

Blaine sat speechless as his eyes filled with unshed tears, trying to process what Kurt had just told him. He tried to shake off the shock and form some type of reply. “I, uh, I um…how…w-what…uh, how did you…what made you come to that conclusion?” he stammered.

“When I found the cookies you’d left for me – and I read the note on them – I began crying…actually, more like _sobbing_ ,” Kurt began. “It felt like a knife to my heart. I felt like I was losing something very special to me; like I was losing _you_. And I don’t want to lose you.

“My dad came into my room to check on me,” he continued, wiping at the tears rolling down his face. “After talking with him I realized I’d never given you a fair shot at earning back my full trust or my forgiveness. But I’m willing to try now. Because I miss you. I miss my best friend.”

“I miss you too,” Blaine said, crying.

“Can I hug you?” Kurt asked, timidly.

Blaine opened his arms up and waved Kurt toward him. “Get over here.”

Kurt got out of the chair and moved over to the couch, falling into Blaine’s arms. Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt tightly, burying his face in Kurt’s neck, and letting out a sigh of contentment. The two of them held onto one another for a few minutes before finally pulling back from the hug.

“In the spirit of earning trust and forgiveness,” Kurt began, “I have a confession I need to make. I saw you and Santana go out onto the fire escape last night. I got this really uneasy feeling about it, so I followed you over there. I overheard most of your conversation with her.

“The way you knew so much about my ideal wedding and the reasons behind those details, and how much I really did not like that ring Adam bought for me…it scared me; but you had one very big thing wrong. I didn’t compromise what I wanted because of _love_. I compromised what I wanted because of _fear_. Fear that this would be the only chance I had at getting married. And fear that if I tried to negotiate with Adam, he might not want to marry me anymore.

“I also heard you tell her…that you love me,” he added. “I ran to my room in a panic after that. My dad saw me sprinting across the loft and followed me into my room. He had Rachel tell everyone that I was feeling ill and sent them all home; party was almost over by then anyway, so it wasn’t really a huge loss. But after hearing what you told Santana, and talking to my dad, I gotta ask: was I the only one that didn’t know? That you love me, I mean?”

Blaine shrugged. “Maybe? I mean, last night was the first time I said those words out loud to anyone since you and Adam began dating…well, except for my therapist…but I’ve never really been very good at hiding how I feel about you.”

“Then why didn’t I know?” Kurt asked.

“Because you didn’t want to know,” Blaine told him. “Kurt, you…you have this habit of putting on blinders to anything that doesn’t fit your perception of a person or situation. After we broke up, your image of me changed; and me being in love with you wasn’t a part of that image anymore; so you ignored it.”

“I’m sorry,” he replied.

“Don’t. It’s okay. I understand why you did it. Self-preservation,” Blaine said. “Besides, it was probably better that you didn’t know. It just would have made things between us even more awkward, since you weren’t ready to forgive me yet.”

“Speaking of…” Kurt hesitated, “I think…if it’s okay with you – even though I would love to pretend the past didn’t happen and be your boyfriend again – I think we should actually take time to _talk_ , to re-connect, before trying to jump back into a serious relationship again. But maybe in the meantime we could go on a date or two?”

Blaine nodded at him. “I agree. Starting a new relationship, when you not only just got out of one, but are still learning how to trust me again…that can only lead to trouble; and I don’t want to jeopardize our future because we rushed into a relationship without working out all the kinks that made our old one fall apart.”

Kurt smirked at Blaine, and in a playful voice said, “You know, I don’t think our _kinks_ were ever a problem for us. We seemed to _handle_ them quite well, if I recall correctly.”

Blaine chuckled to himself, dropping his head onto Kurt’s shoulder. “God, I’ve really missed you.”

 


End file.
